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I did allow for the possibility that my sample was skewed; people with good sex lives don't write to tell me everything's fine.So I invited people whose so-so sex lives improved after the wedding to write in.And did they ever: My inbox is packed with e-mails from couples whose sex lives got better after the wedding. But we were both in our early 40s and ready to settle down.

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It didn't really settle down until we'd been married for a while.I was a virgin, my wife was not, together we hadn't gotten much past second base, and neither of us had laid our kink cards on the table.We were (and still are) introverts with poor communication skills and anxiety/depression/mental-health issues.Better Erotic Ties Totally Enhanced Relationship Last week, I responded to IMDONE, a woman who married a man despite the sex being "infrequent and impersonal" during their courtship.To the surprise of no one who has ever given sex advice for a living, the sex didn't get better after IMDONE and her boyfriend got married.

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